I’m a Veteran with PTSD and Bipolar. I Tried Ketamine. Here’s What Happened.
First, let’s start with a little background.
I’m a U.S. military veteran with PTSD and Bipolar Disorder.
My daily symptoms include severe anxiety, depression, insomnia, anger, panic attacks, memory loss, detachment, paranoia, and OCD-like behaviors, among many others.
I’ve tried just about every “VA-approved” therapy method without any success.
I’ve also tried many different types of mental health medications, prescribed by a VA Psychiatrist, to include Prazosin, Zoloft, Celexa, Remeron, Quetiapine, Lithium, Venlafaxine, Propranolol, Trazadone, Risperidone, Hydroxyzine, Oxcarbazepine, Clonazepam, Lamotrigine, and Gabapentin.
It’s safe to say: I was at the end of my rope looking for a long-term solution to my mental health.
The thought of trying a psychedelic scared the heck out of me at first.
But then I read the research.
I realized it can be micro-dosed and monitored in a clinical setting with trained medical professionals to achieve breakthrough results.
A Nurse Practitioner and a Therapist monitored me during the entire experience
The Therapist and I did three sessions prior to the first Ketamine Infusion.
I felt safe.
And in a good place to give it a go.
My First “Experience” With Ketamine
I entered the room around 9:00am central time, ready to rock.
The Nurse Practitioner and Therapist were both in the room waiting for me.
We talked for about 15 minutes before I laid down on a couch and had the IV inserted into my arm.
This was the first time I got really nervous.
For the first 5 minutes, I didn’t feel anything.
But then, a quiet, comforting peace came over me.
I felt light as a feather.
I was aware of my surroundings but didn’t care to focus on them (at all).
Instead, I was completely enveloped in my own “experience.”
For the first time in as long as I can remember, I felt the complete opposite of anxiety: ZERO ANXIETY.
I was hovering slightly above the couch for most of the 1.5 hours, away from all the pressure and noise of the world: ZERO GRAVITY.
The other thing I remember vividly was being consciously awareness of my unconscious brain.
Here’s 4 feelings and experiences I remember vividly:
- A song played that wasn’t just created for me, I was part of the song.
- I could see all the colors of the spectrum on the ceiling (some colors I had never seen before), and I was part of the colors. I wasn’t just looking at the colors, I was part of them.
- I felt an “interconnectedness” with the whole world: I was created for it; it was created for me.
- The highlight of my first Ketamine Infusion was two different times when I physically “touched” my own soul.
My soul was made perfect.
God was in the whole experience too (I could feel him in anything and everything at the same time).
All the experiences.
It was MAGICAL, LIFE ALTERING, and I’m excited for more.
I’ll probably do five more sessions.
Fingers crossed that this will be the most effective long-term solution to my mental health issues.
This article contains information relating to various medical conditions and their treatment, including Ketamine. Such information is provided for informational purposes only and is not meant to be a substitute for the advice of a doctor or healthcare provider. You should not use this information for diagnosing or treating a health problem or disease. For you to make informed healthcare decisions, you should always consult with your physician for your personal medical needs. I am not a doctor and nothing in this article is medical advice. They are my opinions alone. Ketamine may not be suitable for your situation. You should not rely on the information and opinions in this article when deciding on a treatment plan, drug usage, or any other medical advice, and I, Brian Reese, strongly urge you to consult with your physician in connection with all treatment options that may be available to you.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR:
Brian Reese is a leading expert on and advocate for U.S. veterans’ benefits. A former active-duty Air Force officer, he deployed to Afghanistan in support of Operation Enduring Freedom and received the Defense Meritorious Service Medal. He is a Distinguished Graduate of Management from the United States Air Force Academy and earned his MBA as a National Honor Scholar from the Spears School of Business at Oklahoma State University.